Sex

God’s Word has a lot to say about sex and sexuality.

Sexuality according to God’s design, His will, is a blessing and is considered holy sex. Sinful sexuality is always associated with sexual acts or relationships outside of God’s design, which is considered unholy sex.

Find out below God’s will for holy sex.

Created for Sexual Enjoyment

God clearly made sex to be enjoyed exclusively between a husband and wife, and to be pleasurable!

Contrary to what many think they know about God and His view of sex, it is God who created, blessed, and still encourages a robust, satisfying sex life for a husband and wife.

Look at this colorful expression of holy sex in the Bible, God’s Word. This proverb is very sensual and clearly focused on the enjoyment of holy sex. There is no condemnation and there is no dirty connotation:

Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love. (Proverbs 5:18-19)

This next verse speaks to the very real and strong biological desires most people experience. Notice that Paul doesn’t condemn the feelings, but he clearly reminds us of the proper place and purpose of our sexuality. As Paul says, sex is designed for and to be enjoyed between a husband and his wife.

But now notice that Paul and God are interested in the pleasure of both husband and wife, not just one over the other. There is no notion of sexual slavery, but sexual satisfaction. Paul says a husband should pleasure his wife and a wife should pleasure her husband. And they should consider each others needs and desires as they do their own. How beautiful this picture of holy sex is!

Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:2-5)

The Beauty of Sexual Holiness

The next concept is holiness, which is also referred to as purity or sanctification. So many have tried to corrupt the word purity, but relational and sexual purity is what everyone really desires. Who wants sexually transmitted diseases? Who really wants someone to be sexually unfaithful? God wants you to be sexually blessed. And that requires boundaries.

God wants us to preserve and reserve ourselves sexually for our future spouse. And then, with that spouse — and only that spouse of the opposite biological sex — to experience pure sexual pleasure. Sanctified sex. Holy sex.

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality (1 Thessalonians 4:3)

Remember, Paul is not saying God is against sex. Quite the opposite: God is for sex! But what Paul is saying is that we should only enjoy sex within the beautiful blessed confines of God’s design for sexuality: between a husband and wife, a biological male and female.

Below are general eternal promises related to holiness and the freedom that we are promised when we do things God’s way:

But now having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God, you have your fruit to holiness, and the end, everlasting life. (Romans 6:22)

We need to change our thinking. Sexual immorality (unholy sex) is like being in bondage: enslaved and imprisoned. But sex God’s way is freeing, blessed, and fruitful!

This the whole context of Paul’s encouragement to be holy:

Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness? But God be thanked that though you were slaves of sin, yet you obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine to which you were delivered. And having been set free from sin, you became slaves of righteousness. I speak in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh. For just as you presented your members as slaves of uncleanness, and of lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves of righteousness for holiness.

For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. What fruit did you have then in the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God, you have your fruit to holiness, and the end, everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:16-23)

So, you can, today, make decisions to stop activities and relationships that dishonor God. And then you can go about asking for His wisdom on how to live a life of sexual enjoyment! If you are not married, ask God to help find you a godly spouse. He is the best matchmaker!

If you are married, do whatever it takes to rekindle the relationship and make your marriage the best it can be. Never use sex as a weapon or punishment. Rather, find ways to bless your spouse, sexually. And it is ok to ask your spouse to bless you, sexually. God has ordained that you and your spouse have a robust sex life!

Now, there are unique situations in relationships where sex is not possible or may be painful, physically or emotionally. Find ways to work through those issues, find counsel from pastors or Christian counselors, if need be. Prayerfully seek medical help. You may find that there are treatments or options that you didn’t know were possible.